Decisions....

DECISIONS
1. The act of reaching a conclusion or making up one's mind.
2. A conclusion or judgment reached or pronounced; a verdict.

My biggest flaw is caring too much. With me either you love me or you hate me. I know the reason for that, and I make no apologies. I am the way that I am because life has taught me many hard lessons, and the nurturer in me wants to save people from doing the same. My approach in this self proclaimed “life coaching” of mine is usually brash, realistic, and to the point. Either you like it or you can get the hell on. I don’t claim to make the best decisions all the time. I don’t claim to be so insightful that the things I do are error proof. I am human, I’ve fucked up! I am sure there are many more to come. However, the hardest thing in the world for me is to watch people make decisions that I honestly know are the wrong ones. I hate that as humans we can be so calloused, and egotistical that when making a choice we think we should only think about ourselves. I have done that so many times and every time I come out with the loosing hand. The older I get the more I realize that this life has nothing to do with me or what I want. I think its about having a Devine purpose. Being kind and fair to others, standing firm in what you believe (especially when what you believe is for the greater good of mankind) I also think it’s about being honest in our assessments of each other, and especially ourselves.

So with that being said, I am really at a crossroads in my life. I am working daily to determine if the “best me” should just remain silent sometimes, and allow people to make whatever decisions they like. Possibly I should “fall back” and just let it be. To most, that sounds like a good idea but the hard part is not allowing myself to be involved. I am constantly telling myself to shut up and not offer my assistance. Let people do what they want. That’s hard when they come to me with the problem. Wouldn’t it be a bad thing for me to pretend to think a bad thing is one that’s actually good? Won’t I be committing treason to the human race by allowing someone to do something that can perhaps cause them continuous misery for the rest of their lives? Possibly it is time for me to just stop. Because honestly, I end up hurt as well. I hate that people come to me with the problem I offer them a feasible solution (which is not what they want to hear) and they decide to turn me into the bad guy. Talking recklessly behind my back, saying that I am too judgmental, or that what I have to say is too conventional. Wouldn’t the real solution to that problem be for them to keep their issues to themselves, and not to come to me with their mess?

Hey I say….Don’t ask and I wont tell, or offer, or fix, or reconcile, or uplift, or encourage, or pay, or work, or stress, or feel, or do. (All things that come with the package of inviting me into your personal) I’m ride or die regardless, but I am thinking these days it would be best for me to stop fixing shit for people. Maybe I should close down my “life coaching” business. When shit hits the fan I might get ghost. Because as I said before, it’s a slap in the face when you cry with someone, hurt with someone, work towards a goal with someone, all to no avail. It’s sad to say but the age old cliché is very true “People are going to what they want to do.” So I say why not let them. I have my own personal mess to clean, without trying to clean up someone else’s. The more I type the more therapeutic this is for me. I am letting well enough alone. I’m going to do me, and purposely be removed. Because the value in having a good friend is illustrated best, when a person realized that what their friend had to say served as no value to them, but was priceless had you have listened. Take heed yall, and recognize the value in an honest and good friend.

Love yall

Shellz