When & If

If I know that I’m not what you want
When I’m scared that people misunderstand me

When my pants don’t fit like they used to

If my hair doesn’t cooperate

When you're defining what MY happiness looks like
If tears form in my eyes because I’m afraid to die



When I realize that I am numb

If I determine that nobody is really who they say they are



When the lies start
If the love ends


When being white is the new black
If being black is the new demise



When I STOP feeling like a woman
If I discontinue believing in marriage



When it conflicts with everything I was taught
If I seek the truth and become ridiculed



When men love men
If women aren’t aware of the love between the men



When hope doesn’t float
If hate rises to the top



When what I see in the mirror is different than what you personify me as
If I change me for you


When you listen but don’t hear
If I lay in this bed beside you and still feel alone


When you’re inside me without us having sex
If I find a way to make that possible



When I give all
If you give half



When I’m naked but fully clothed
If beauty came from within


When

IF becomes
suitable in all this...