So as you can see the blog below is incomplete. I left it unfinished on purpose. I started tearing up when I began to think about how much my BFF and I had been through and I had to take a break while I was writing it. I just left it that way. Because its my blog, and my process and I had to be real. So with that being said...(((drum roll)
I got that heffa down the aisle!!!!!!! She looked beautiful, and I have never seen her so happy in my life. I held it together but got a little misty eyed.However, I didn't fall out like I thought I would. Right before I walked out that door to walk down the aisle I asked a personal favor of GOD to protect her and her new husband and to guide them through their marriage and in all things. Then I let it go. All of my personal reservations, fears, and selfishness, and stood proudly beside my best friend. I handed her his ring, gave her a nod when she looked back at me as to say do it girl! and she smiled. 5 minutes later her last name was different then it was when I was helping her to get dressed earlier that day. She was someones wife, and I heard someone say "let me get some pictures of you and your husband" I looked at her and said "Girl you have a husband" she showed all of her teeth and said "I KNOW" That sealed the deal for me. My BFF was happy, she was married, and I had done my job.
I swear seeing my boo this weekend was like a scene out of movie. I couldn't stop looking at him. I felt lucky. Our reaction to the wedding was different. We didn't get the jitters and instantly begin talking about getting married (thought that was topic of conversation amongst everyone else. If I had a dollar for every time I heard ShellZ when yall gonna get married) We talked about why we love each other. I remember when I walked down the aisle I saw him in the back and gave him a wink. He smiled and winked back. Whenever something odd happened or I saw something funny I looked for him so we could laugh together.
I can remember being across the room mingling and talking to folks and I would look up and he was staring at me. He told me sometimes he forgets how beautiful I am. How when he saw me all fly and fabulous in my dress he thought to himself, damn that's all mine. I told him I understood. Sometimes we get so used to the routine of our relationships that we forget what got us where we are in it. Its easy to forget that you were initially attracted to someones smile, or sense of humor. We get numb sometimes and I sooooo understand. I really do. We talked for an hour about how we don't want to be one of those couples we see with no chemistry. Lifeless. Not dancing not smiling, he no longer stares, as a matter of fact he cant wait to get away from her. I don't want that in a marriage. We both asked each other how do people get that way? I told him I guess its LIFE.
I don't see us heading down the aisle anytime soon. I'd rather us work at this thing called love. I like who we are separately, but I LOVE who we are together. So with that being said I'm cool right now, Growing in love is something I've never done and I'm up for the challenge.
Anyway, Man, it was good to see old friends, and family. My BFF's sisters be having me weak! We are always bringing up old memories and laughing. I had too much fun with them. My dress looked nice and I felt pretty. Yall know I don't do makeup AT ALL and I actually liked how mine looked. I thought to myself, its not that bad. I could do this like once a year...LOL Me and my girl E tore the dance floor up. Then me and my BOO had a dance off in front of everyone. He did this dance from the movie "breaking" and I of course had to break out that dance the Prep (some call it the wop) and the Roger Rabbit. Then we did the kid and play and it was over! That was too fun!
Now... while I have today off, Im about to go over to my new place and do some cleaning. I dread that I gotta start loading some of my crap into my car and get to moving. ...
So with that being said.. Ima holla at yall later.
LOVE YALL
STAY-RELEVANT
ShellZ
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