Paying it forward

I was the first person to attend and graduate college in my immediate family. I really learned a lot about myself and what was right or wrong through trial and error. My younger cousins and a few of her friends are all embarking on college graduation, and I decided that I wanted to give them a gift. I started composing this list of things that I thought they should know after graduation and it quickly grew from 5 to 10. I have to give a shout out to my girl Erika who assisted me with adding to the list, and reminded me to add some humor because that makes these life lesson pills, easier to swallow. Because, Lord knows she and I both have been through some rough times... 

So with a little bit of editing and permission from the beautiful ladies I sent it to this to originally, I am re-posting it to share with the world.  

Enjoy

10 things you should know for post graduation and BEYOND….

1. Live !!! - As cliché as it sounds you will never get your 20’s back. It should be spent living life  and making plenty of mistakes. Your 20’s  are considered the time that you are expected to be somewhat mature, but people will excuse a lot of the ignorant stuff you do because you are “still young.”  Once you reach your 30’s if you are still making poor decisions.. You are basically considered a looser and its hard for people to take you seriously.  Go ahead and get it out of the way NOW. But be smart… always be smart.

2. Your degree does not automatically make you smart or qualified- Learning to play the game is what makes you intelligent.  Sit down and figure out your strong points. Research CEO’s, Moguls, people that you admire (of a professional nature not some reality star) and find out what they did to become who they are. I can guarantee you that their degree was ONLY the beginning of their story to success.  Also, you will learn that what you went to college for may be the area that you initially thought you were interested in. However,  your chosen career path may be obtained through osmosis or by trying out something that you really didn’t want to do. Don’t pigeon hole yourself! You have your entire life to decide what you want to be when you grow up!

3. Know how to gracefully quit your job- DO NOT burn bridges. You never know when you will need a good reference, or a part time gig. The worst mistake you can make is to be unprofessional on the job, it will follow you.  Gracefully quitting, shows that you have the ability to recognize when you outgrown something, but can remain humble while doing so.

4. Live outside of your means at least once-  Live in a ritzy neighborhood, buy yourself an expensive piece of furniture, or something that you can carry with you as a reminder of how far you have come and where you are going. It will keep you grounded.  You should also take your own vacation ALONE at least once. Being in a different space, will force you  to network, learn things on your own, decide what YOU like to do, and once its over you will have gotten comfortable with your own company.

5.  Remember: There is NO POWER IN YOUR VAGINA!  -Despite what you see in the media, your vagina will NOT get you your hearts desire. It CAN get you temporary happiness, a few meals, some jewelry, a car,  in some instances I’ve seen people get houses. BUT you must know that it will not keep a man. Don’t try to use it for that. It NEVER works! If it does.. You must remember that a man that is ruled by vagina is  more than likely ruled by ANYONES vagina. Yours will not be the first or last

6.  Understand that anything you see on television, in movies, or have read in books illustrates the exact opposite of how things happen in real life.-  Be prepared to struggle, cry, and  to go through several phases of self reflection. Becoming a woman is constant growth. Its cyclical and continuous. If you aren’t accepting, searching, or providing wisdom then you are not becoming a woman.

7. Make sure you have at least one good push up bra, a good suit for interviews,  and lots of condoms- (You must  have some competent source of birth control, unless you are ready to be a mom.) You should also have a stash of money in an account or in a secret place that nobody knows about. You never know what kind of emergency will occur and even if its $50 you will at least be able to eat or catch a cab if you need to. Also PROTECT your credit. Without good credit your life will be complicated.

8. Own your own toolbox, and know how to use a drill.- A man will not always be readily available to “fix” things for you,  owning these things teaches you strength, and its important that you know how to “repair your own things in your life.”  Being independent is not a bad thing as long as you don’t use it to emasculate your man. Being handy is sexy! (Plus! there are always hot men in Home Depot)

(Number 8 is also metaphorical, think about it.. you all are smart girls)

9. Know how to order a sophisticated drink, and the appropriate way to order a meal. As crazy as it seems people will judge you by those things.  It is also a sign of personal investment.  Classy women research, investigate, and are knowledgeable of things before they ever speak on them.

10.  Know that because you are created in Gods image that you are enough!   This is most important! Hide this in your heart, remember this, internalize this , pray for understanding of this, live this.