Conversation including but not limited to.................So ShellZ
"Girl you know such and such is married, has a house and is doing really well for herself"
and blah blah Is doing well, she's engaged and about to have a baby"
"whats next for you?"
"Get my PhD.......... or write this book which ever comes first."
"You don't want a husband or a baby?"
"I mean it would be nice but I'm not making it the requirement for me to feel successful"
"Do you feel successful now"
"Yeap"
"Really?"
"REALLY!"
(pause)
" Well if you are already successful, then what are you waiting on to get married and start a family"
"A successful relationship"
"Oh"
((((giggles))))
" Your not getting any younger baby, I just don't want life to pass you by"
"life"
"Yeah a happy life, with a family, and children and a nice house"
" All those things don't equate to happiness to me"
"Why not??"
"Why should they?"
"You've traveled, gotten your degrees, might as well add a family to the equation"
"Why because that's what everyone else wants?"
" No because I can see you being great at those things"
"Thank you"
(((((wondering what she wants me to say next))))
"So how was NYC"
"It was great, we kicked it, I met some cool folks"
"Good"
'You love hitting that road don't you?"
"Yeap"
"Might as well get it all out of the way now, because once you have children that all stops"
"Why is that?"
"Because they take up most of your time"
"Which further validates why I am in no rush"
"Well I can tell this is a touchy subject for you, so Ima let it go"
"Thank you"
"Just one more question"
(((sigh*)))
"Yeap"
"Are you are really as happy as you say you are?"
" Can I ask you a question before I answer?"
"mmmm hmmm"
"Are you really as happy as you say you are?"
((silence,))
harsh breath
"Honestly?"
"Yeap"
"Not really"
I hate when people try impose their own beliefs or values on others. Whats good or destined for one, isn't always destined for another.
I'm comfortable in my skin.
I like me
Who I am
The direction in which my life is heading
My service, and kindness to people is
My DEFINITION OF SUCCESS
I believe we all "Arrive" when its our time to do so.
I don't feel as if my life is purposeless because I don't have
a new last name or a child.
I could've have those things when I was younger.
In my spirit I knew that wasn't me
Then......
When will it be my time?
I don't know
Am I in a hurry?
honestly,
Some days more than others
but, Im cool with what I have now
and
When its all said and done, and my friends ask me
"Are you really as happy as you say you are"
I want my answer to be
always be
"YES".....
Hope all is well in yalls world
Love yall,
ShellZ
3 comments:
so glad you wrote this...some people make me want to scream at them; they are so fixated on what would make them happy that they brush that same ideal off onto other people...probably one of the most irritating things someone could do to me.
I go through that conversation with my family AND a good handful of my friends; almost like something is wrong for me for not wanting to jump into a relationship, get married, and have a baby. I know that doesn't automatically equate to happiness or success, for that matter, because there are SO many people who have EXACTLY that and are miserable...and feel that their lives are nowhere near being "fulfilled".
good blog!
Bis Sis...
I hate when people tell me what I need in my life, too!!
Mostly it's about whethering my career, though. I'm fine where I am. I have done everything I said I was going to do. I just don't have new career ambitions at this point. Unlike you, I want a family. That's the one thing I haven't accomplished! And you're right, I can't do it without first having a successful relationship!!!
my family already knows that i will do it my way. they can act like that person in your blog and i will have an answer for their asses. i'll move to arizona where they have to plan and coordinate to catch up with me. plus there arent too many sistas out there, so they will have to get prepared for the swirl.
but my parents always told that its my life and responsibility, so i will do it on my time
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