My caller ID said UN KNOW
It revealed that 3 times. I never answer those calls.
Unknown is cowardly to me.
(*sigh)
When I did answer that 4th time?
I heard that familiar voice.
It revealed that 3 times. I never answer those calls.
Unknown is cowardly to me.
(*sigh)
When I did answer that 4th time?
I heard that familiar voice.
The one that now I could do without hearing,but used to love so much when I was A girl.
“Hello”
“Yes”
“Hello”
“Yes”
"Hey ShellZ"
"__ex____?"
"Yea its me"
"sounding irritated because I'm pretending to not know his voice
“How are you?”
“I'm well, and yourself”
“Good”
“So whats up”
“Oh, I was calling because I really need to talk”
“bout what?”
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but I needed to say this before I marry her”
“Oh so you decided to go ahead and marry psycho Suzie”
(We both chuckle because the story behind that nick name is now a funny memory; it wasn’t when I was about to tap that ass though!)
“Yea, Ima go ahead and take it down with Suzie”
(((giggle)))
cant believe he’s making fun of his future wife.
“Good, I wish yall all the best; so what you wanna talk about?”
“Good, I wish yall all the best; so what you wanna talk about?”
“Do you forgive me?”
“Huh?,forgive you for what?”
“For not being to you what I should have been”
“Of course, I forgave you a long time ago, look we were young then, even I am not the same”
“But even way back then you were a good girl”
“Correction honey, way back then I was AAAAALLLL woman”
((((he fake laughs))))
“Yea, you were. Im sure you still are”
“Don’t get it twisted, I still have girl moments”
(( he real laughs )))
“Anyway, Im getting married in April, I think Im really ready to do this. I just wanted to right all my wrongs before I take the plunge of death”
“uuum alright then”
“So you really forgive me then?”
“Do you want the short answer about how I feel or the long one”
“Since when did you ever do short versions?”
(I laugh)
He still knows me.
“Honestly, I forgave you a long time ago. No reason to hold on to the past. We made our decision to move on with our lives together. We both agreed on our strange form of closure and I appreciate you letting me fly as you called it”
“Honestly, I forgave you a long time ago. No reason to hold on to the past. We made our decision to move on with our lives together. We both agreed on our strange form of closure and I appreciate you letting me fly as you called it”
“I did say that didn’t I? Damn that was corny”
“Not to me”
“Really? Why you say that?”
“Because that’s what I needed to do. I stayed waaaay past my threshold out of pure loyalty, you were a good man at times, and for the most part I wouldn’t have changed much about you. You were just a little too content for my taste and that’s not me”
“I know”
“Anyway, if it means anything I always have and still do believe in you. I think you will be a good husband. You already are a good father, and she’s lucky to get the new and improved you”
“Thank you ShellZ, that means alot, so you really think I can do this huh?”
“Yea”
“O.K."
Im amazed at how relieved he sounds...
“So were you calling me to talk you out of it or something?”
“No, I love her. I want her to be my wife. She's a great woman”
“Good. That’s a perfect enough reason to take the plunge of death then”
((slight pause))
“Nah, but I was calling you to get you to talk me into it though”
((((laughter in unison))))
“You’ll be fine”
“Yea I will”
“ Look, I don’t mean to cut the convo short but I gotta go teach”
“When?”
“ In 5 hours”
((lots of laughter))
“You still my dawg ShellZ.. silly as ever”
“No seriously, out of respect I think we should cut the convo short, I know I would want that”
“Yea you right”
“weeeeeeell o.k”
“Hey, real quick. You think you gonna get married anytime soon”
Now Im kinda annoyed. Why is THIS the topic of conversation in my life in 2009?
shit!!!
“That’s a good question, I don’t think I have the answer, but based on my history, Nah probably no time soon.Im Americas most slept on woman”
“That’s a shame.”
“Aint it though?”
“ Your turn will come soon”
(I hear The purest form of sympathy in his voice when he says my time will come)
“ You know me. Im not rushing”
" Yeah Dont I know...."
That stung so I leave that one right were it is.... try not to resurrect what I know hurt him . I wait for him to clean it up
“Alright Ima let you go, so you can teach your class in 5 hours”
( this time we extended laughter, that really wasn’t needed)
“O.K. well congrats and take care of yourself hun”
“OK”
“Thank you ShellZ”
“You’re Welcome”
((Pause))
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I hung up first.
Im really growing yall. Damn, that feels nice. It wasn't meant to be me at the end of that church aisle. Walking towards him.
I wish them a lifetime of happiness. (With everything in me I really do.) As always, in every past relationship. I play fair. The legacy I leave behind is that of a woman of standard, and that's how I walk away settled in my spirit.
Thats why my scab didn't bleed.
Hope all is well in yalls world
Love yall
ShellZ
*some content changed to protect the........ (hell I dont know I just changed some of it!)
4 comments:
i must admit, he has balls. but like him sometimes we must learn the hard way that our hangups arent always shared by who we are hung up on. i have a bagfull of questions for a person or two and i try to make the phone call and it hits me. she is not paying me equal attention, so i pack it up and keep moving.sa
Men are so complex!!
...you, talk him into it...??
Okay, whatever!
Sounds like to me like he still in luv with you? I bet she wuldnt want to marry him if she knew he was calling his exgirlfriend to talk about they bizness.
Niggas aint *&##
From Nysha
@FRQ "Are hangups arent always shared my who we are hung up on"
I LIKE THAT O"
@BG4Y Men are complex. I gave up trying to figure them out years ago. It is what it is.
@Nysh He is not still in love with me.(ok maybe a little..) but he loves his fiance and I dont think I will ever hear from him again. Trust me,He will be a good husband to her. *Plus what I tell you about using text message talk WHEN YOU ARENT TEXTING!!! LOL!(Love you!)
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