CROWDED BEDS......

I heard someone say once that we never sleep alone

There is always someone lying in the
bed with us

Some remnants of a past lover

Memories
Smells
Gifts

They all lay in bed beside us each night.

Then we meet others and invite them to join us in that space

And

the bed gets crowded

Crowded with only 2 people in the bed

because
the
remains
of many others
are

tucked in tight

That’s a scary and deep theory

Because I wonder how many people I unknowingly shared a bed with?
Laying beside someone feeling as if I were the
only one
but mentally

they were with
her

I wonder how many times I subjected someone to sharing my bed?
Feeling like
I was only in it

for them

and mentally

I
was miles away from our moments together..........

I know I’ve done it

Man…..
Being in bed with someone is so much deeper than sex

It’s where you pray and ask God for another day

Its where you think

Acknowledge

contemplate

Let go
and

Respite


Our thoughts and recollections really do keep us company

But the question is….

is it always good company?

Probably sometimes………

Until it overcrowds our existence

Forcing us to push the people who’ve invested in us

OUT


Damn…..
I don’t want to lay in a crowded bed
I don’t want to see my friends laying in crowded beds
Knowingly
Or
unknowingly

How do we fix that though?…

Everyone has baggage….
Everyone carries some parts of a past situation

with them

In their thoughts

and in their actions....

But in the words of Erykah Badu

“We need to pack light”

My heart hurts tonight, because one of my girls got
Disregarding BADLY by someone she once loved

I love her and she knows it,
Reads this blog
And expects me to be honest

She caused some of her own misery
By ignoring the signs

BUT

Feelings and Attachments
Are
Disconnected

from

Logic



I hate that the entire time she was laying beside this man
His heart was somewhere else…..

I’ve seen my male friends in similar situations

Sharing a bed

and willing to sleep in it

Uncomfortably

Just to be in someone's

bed…..

I cant even end this blog with some nugget of wisdom because

I don’t know how to quite process this shit….

It’s a scary thought….
And we cant say it requires a solution

Or can we?

What I do know is that
I EXPECT

my girl to pick herself up
And try again

I KNOW
That once she takes a moment to see the value in herself she might make better choices

AND
gain some strength back from fighting this love tug or war…….


All the best to you honey…… All the best to everyone in similar situations
Its gotta get better….

And here’s to
Sleeping in beds

With just enough space for 2…………………..


LOVE YALL


ShellZ