Breathing

Exhaling.. Breathing... Forcing....Searching... Being...


Had a HUGE argument with the boo last night. Sometimes I wonder about him... Needless to say
I was dramatic as usual, made my point stood FIRM in it. All is well now.... I guess.....man... I guess....

I am often told I am too independent, and need to learn to let a man be a man. I do. I admit it. But its all the direct result of my up bringing.. Im not used to having someone love me without purpose or benefit. Its rare to find someone who loves you solely because you are you. I watched my mother struggle to raise my sister and I without the presence of a man in our home and I guess Im just inclined to feel its a blessing to have a man and NOT A REQUIREMENT. Too many times I allowed myself to be vulnerable all to no benefit. So, Im just cautious with what I allow and will tolerate. My expectations are high, and I only want a man who has similar expectations. I am UP to meeting his expectations. Im proud to say I am a good woman, future wife and potential mother (looooong shot about the mother part). I wear the crown proudly.

Anyway, my guardian Angel Mrs. Wilma called me today after 6 months to ask me whats wrong. She said I was on her heart and she couldn't rest until she called. She always does that. Anytime I am faced with self doubt, personal speed bumps, angst, anger blah blah blah, she always calls. It baffles me every time.

Who would have thunk 2 years ago in the airport after leaving my Grandfathers funeral I would have met this woman who would serve as my long distance therapist. She is from Houston Texas in her 50's (looks like she's in her 40's) and writing a book about self motivation. I sat beside her on the plane and she did just that. Motivated me. In 1 hours and 22 minutes she listened to me vent about my fears of moving to Charlotte alone, unresolved issues I had and how uncertain I was about starting fresh. I remember her saying to me "You are young, you have your whole life ahead of you, live it like that baby" Once again words I will hide in my heart forever. Thanks Ms Wilma for being one of my biggest cheerleaders. Despite the circumstance leading up to it I am forever grateful the Divine place us in those aisle and middle seats together.

The apartment hunt continues.. Though I might have found something.. Im gonna pray on.

Hope all is well in yalls world.. Please peep the song below. Man its my Blues all day long

Love yall

Stay relevant.